Leaders can find ourselves physically present, but absent. There, but not there. Existing in a space and place, while being non-existent.
Present, But Absent
As we begin to prepare our lives for career possibilities, the easiest thing to do is cross certain ones off our list. The ones we are not willing to do. Willingness carries you far in a career, so being aware of what we are unwilling to do is a powerful tool in the selection process.
One profession I checked off my career choices was being a substitute teacher at the high school level. This decision was grounded in the grief that my buddies and I gave many of them. When we arrived to class and saw a new face behind the teacher’s desk…game on!
Our regular teachers knew us well. There was no need to take attendance, they just knew who was present and who was absent.
Substitutes on the other hand, needed to pass around a sign in sheet to account for everyone’s attendance. The sheet went around the room, the sub checked the list, counted the names on the list, looked up and counted the kids in the class, and counted the names on the list one more time. The math never…ever, added up.
Like clockwork…the sub would call out the list of names. Anticipation built as they got closer and closer to the fictious names we wrote on the list. Believe me, they were listed as present, but physically absent. Some of them realized it before it was too late, others realized it when the giggles broke out. Under these conditions…substitute teaching.
Here are three valuable lessons we can learn from immature high school kids and the need to be considered present:
Marked Absent
I managed to miss my first period class 38 times my senior year. Before you judge, I did get an A in the class and most of that time was due to eating and drinking for the first time in 24 hours after a morning wrestling match weigh in.
I got marked absent A LOT.
Leadership pulls us in many different directions. It may leave us Stuck behind a desk, in a meeting, or traveling for work. Our time and attention are constantly competed for. It leaves us absent from the people. If people are our priority, proximity matters.
Being marked absent as a leader can be of significant detriment to our leadership trajectory. It is the list we DO NOT want to be present on.
Present, But Absent
High school was a place where I could easily find myself physically present, but absent. I was a mediocre student at best, not from an academic perspective, but an application one. Doing the bare minimum to get by.
I may have been physically present in the class, but completely absent at times. Daydreams of wrestling match visualizations, riding four wheelers, and what I was going to do with my buddies that weekend took precedent.
In leadership, the same holds true. We can be physically present, but absent. We are right there with the people who need us, but so far away mentally. The demands of the day, the chaos of the circumstances, and the whispers of Critics occupy our minds while we occupy our seats.
Fully Present
It was the first day of my last semester of high school. I sat down in Trigonometry class and listened to the teacher walk through the syllabus. At the first break in the action, I approached the teacher at her desk. I asked to go see the guidance counselor.
See, I did not have to take a math class my senior year. It was something I had ambitiously signed up for as a freshman when clearly my Aspirations Exceeded My Abilities.
Before she let me go, she did what any responsible teacher would do. She asked me, “Why?” I conveyed to her that I would like to request to be moved to Team Sports. This insulted her and looking back now, rightfully so. She advised me that if I made a choice like that, “I would never amount to anything.”
I channeled my persuasive vocabulary from limited moments of presence in Language Arts. I told her, “I will be nothing but a distraction to you and the other students, I highly advise that you allow me to go to the guidance office.” She gave permission, I transitioned to team sports.
I was not going to be fully present in Trigonometry and I knew it. It was not even a question. Now, Team Sports…FULLY present. I would go on to dominate the class in Ultimate Frisbee and Team Handball.
As leaders, we are at our best when we are fully present. Being present means that we are fully engaged where our feet are planted. The people we are entrusted to lead emerge to the top of our priority list. That positioning on the list, places them in closer proximity to our hearts and minds.
Conclusion
Honestly, being fully present can be one of the most difficult parts of leadership. It is for me at least. Being distracted and distant can come pretty natural in this busy world. There aren’t a lot of self-help books on Amazon that offer strategies on how to be effectively absent.
Our full presence is in high demand by those we lead. Great leaders understand this tension and wrestle with it daily. While it may be unachievable, it is a worthy pursuit.
While the jury may be out on, “Never amounting to anything,” I have learned this. In order to amount to anything, it starts with leadership. Leadership requires a constant pursuit of presence.
Leadership absence is never acceptable. Our people deserve better than our attempt at being present, while being absent. Doing our best to be fully present is our greatest calling as a leader. It’s a battle that takes place in the hearts and minds of great leaders. Win that battle, we win the hearts and minds of those we lead.