“Better than me”…every father’s ultimate aspiration for their child. An instinctive ambition that supersedes everything else. A level to which one would sacrifice every bit of personal happiness, joy, and success so that their children can lead a better life than they did.
Father’s Day
Here is the dilemma I face every Father’s Day, to write about it or not write about it. Why? It’s very easy for me to write about Fatherhood because dad is my hero. I could not have a better example to emulate than he.
Anytime I write, I strongly desire for it to be relatable. The struggle with making a specific topic like this relatable is understanding that my personal experience may not always be the case. Some may have lost their father, some may have never known their father, and some may have had a less than stellar father.
Either way, stay with me as I share with you the heart of a father from my perspective and how that love can make us better leaders. If my heart could speak, here is what it would say to my children:
I Got This
Fathers are problem solvers, fixers, and repairers. It’s what I do. When things break in your world, go awry, or fall apart, I will tell you that, “I got this.” When “I got this,” I GOT IT. Consider it done on your behalf.
The heart of a leader speaks this as well. When chaos and confusion set in, great leaders “got it” handled. They are committed to making things better on your behalf. When they utter these three simple words, know that they mean it.
I’ll Walk In When Everyone Else Walks Out
There will be days that you fail, fall short, misstep, make mistakes, and make poor choices. The results of those events may leave you feeling alone and isolated. As those that surround you start walking out, always know that I will be walking in. Every. Single. Time.
The heart of a leader walks in when everyone else walks out. When all feels lost, when one feels alone, here comes the leader. Their direction is never aimed away from those they lead, the compass is always directed towards those they serve.
I Am Second
For my children, I am second. It is the order in which I am responsible for and desire to serve you. My schedule, my time, my energy, my priorities, my passions, my desires, my dreams, are second to you. My selfish desires become second to my selflessness for you. You are first, I am second.
The heart of a leader models this order of priorities. The people they lead are first, they are second. Great leaders understand their positioning in the order of people.
I Will Love and Care for You
The greatest definition of my love comes through my faith. Corinthians 13: 4-7 say’s that:
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[a] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Therefore, if I desire to model love for you, it gets translated like this: I will be patient, kind, humble, selfless, and forgiving. I will carry your burdens, believe in you, hope for your best, and always be there for you.
Now, sometimes love is not all unicorns and rainbows. Discipline is a component of love. At times, I will be tough, corrective, and firm. You are a piece of clay I intend to mold into a better person.
The heart of a leader demonstrates this love. Through the good, the bad, and the ugly a leader’s love for their people is unconditional, enduring, and hopeful.
I Will Fail You
I have failed you…will fail you. I will fall short of the father I desire to be and the one you deserve to have. While it is not my intention, I need you to know that I am an imperfect human fully capable of dropping the ball. My promise to you is that I will acknowledge it and work to do better and be better.
The heart of a leader is transparent and vulnerable. The most realistic promise a leader can give to their people is that they will fail them. Great leaders are fully capable of disappointing others. It is not the intent, just a natural byproduct of the territory of leadership.
Conclusion
If my heart could consolidate each of these messages into one, it would be that I want both of my children to be, “better than me.” Better at all aspects of being a human than I am, that is my ultimate objective for them. It is one of my life’s strongest desires. One in which I would give anything for. If at the end of my days, if this is my life’s work, I can rest well.
Maybe the message to my children isn’t the message you have personally received in life. Maybe you haven’t been led well in leadership either. I offer this challenge to you…be the chain breaker. Emulate “better than me” for your family and those you lead. Start from here.
A great leader leaves people better than they found them. We have a tremendous responsibility to better those we lead. Do better, be better.