There are a lot of ugly people in this world. Just simply undesirable people. The sight of them alone can make your stomach churn. When you see them coming, all you can think is, “How could someone possibly be that ugly?”
Ugly People
No, I’m not talking about the people who weren’t gifted with external beauty! I’m talking about the internally ugly. The Mean and Nasty People that we encounter along the journey of life and leadership.
These individuals can be found behind backstops at your local ball parks, in the social media comment sections, and even at family get-togethers. In the evening, you can find them glued to their politically aligned news network. They are triggered by umpires, politics, traffic, quality of service at restaurants, the condition of their neighbor’s yard, and other people’s joy. Yeah…you know these people.
These characters are simply unavoidable. Here are two rational things to do when we encounter ugly people.
Take Another Aisle
For a long time, I led coach clinics for youth sports coaches. At the beginning of each session, I would challenge them to think about how they want to be remembered by the kids that they coached?
I would give them the grocery story indicator. Later on in life, when the kid sees you at the grocery store, how would they react? Would they run towards you and yell “Coach,” or would they turn the shopping cart around and take another aisle?
We’ve all done it while strolling through the grocery store. We make the turn onto an aisle and there they are…the ugly person. Before eye contact is made, we quickly turn the cart around and take another aisle.
The preferred method of dealing with ugly people in life and leadership…avoidance! Avoidance is not always the best strategy, but it can be applied situationally.
These ugly people can be emotionally draining, depressing, and demeaning. Sometimes it’s just not worth engaging. When you see them coming, take another aisle. Separate yourself.
Get Off The Christmas Card List
In my forty-four years of existence on this earth, I have been removed from my fair share of Christmas card lists! With twenty-six of those years being in the spaces of coaching youth sports, public service, and leadership I can assure you I have had to make decisions that have provoked others to not like me. Having to make final cuts for a team, recommending policy that half of the people will like and half will not, and altering people’s lives by having to make a tough decision to part ways with an employee…you name it.
I am far from perfect, I am certain that some of those removals were warranted. In many of those cases, they were just ugly people.
In life and leadership, we will be removed from Christmas cards lists. Most will come at the hands of ugly people. Great leaders in this world must make decisions that impact others. The only way to avoid the outcome of those decisions is to not lead. Followers evade this responsibility entirely.
John Maxwell says, “When you get kicked in the rear, you know you are out front.” Being out front subjects us to criticism and condemnation, two things that come with the territory. Ugly people kick the rears of people further ahead of them.
Good people and good leaders get removed from Christmas card lists…it’s okay.
Conclusion
There are those leadership moments that stick. Years ago, we were doing a book study with our leadership team. We were reading the book, The Energy Bus by Jon Gordon. In the book, he labels the ugly people as, “Energy Vampires.” Essentially, the people that suck the life out of others.
During the discussion, our team had climbed high upon our pedestals of superiority. We were rattling off at will, the people that exemplified the negativity that he described in the book.
Then, one of our leaders knocked us off that pedestal. He said, “The author isn’t writing the book to them, he’s writing it to us.” Bam!
It is so easy to read a self-help book and think about the behaviors of others. Don’t miss this…everything starts in The Mirror. I am responsible for my behavior and my behavior alone and guess what? We all fall short.
So…the next time we think about criticizing the umpire that is working their second job to make ends meet so that your child can play a game that will never factor into the outcome of their life…don’t be ugly.
The next time we start getting riled up at the news broadcast, change the channel…it makes us ugly. How about the next time you want to leave a one-star review and rip a locally owned restaurant online, remember that it feeds their family too…don’t be ugly.
Maybe the next time we have the opportunity to tear someone or something down another human being down in the comment section, keep scrolling…don’t be ugly.
We are either the light that brightens the world or the darkness that dims it. That my friends, is a choice that we make every minute of every day. Don’t be ugly, it’s not pretty.
