As a father of two kids, I have always been called to be their protector. Leadership has the same calling. It’s a Superpower that is only entrusted to those responsible for the well-being of others.
August 26, 2007, that was the date that we brought our first born home. We were required to stay in the hospital for forty-eight hours, then were discharged with a fifteen-minute video on how to care for this human being we were now responsible for.
I will never forget the moment of arriving home and placing her in the crib to sleep for the first time. Reality struck, I was solely responsible for her protection! In that moment, I remember feeling the inadequacy and unpreparedness for that awesome responsibility. All I could do was obsessively watch her chest rise and fall, making sure she was still breathing!
Anyone who has led for any period of time has felt the exact same. That first promotion, the first major project, or the first time being responsible for leading others. We were inadequate and unprepared for the task.
As a father and a leader, here are three thoughts on being the protector of others:
Seek Wisdom
In the hospital, we shared in the protection of Ashtyn. The doctors and nurses at WellStar Kennestone Hospital were way more experienced in our daughter’s well-being than we were at the time. We tried to absorb as much of that wisdom as possible in such a short period of time.
After the discharge, it was those who had experienced parenting before that we depended on to seek wisdom from.
Wisdom is simply a culmination of one’s experiences. Whether it’s life or leadership, we gain wisdom one of two ways, through our own experiences or the experiences of others. From a wisdom perspective, I can certainly tell you which one leads to more personal failure!
When we lack the experience required, seek the wisdom of others. It can speed up our learning curve and makes us more effective as a protector.
Set the Netting
Where do we set the safety net for those we are responsible for protecting? Do we have one at all? This is one of the great challenges of being a protector. A decision we all must wrestle with at some point.
I often use the example of a tightrope walker in a circus. Most of the time, there is a safety net in place in case the person falls. Sometimes, the super experienced ones don’t have one at all!
When we are responsible for the protection of others, where we place the net matters. In life and leadership, I believe the net needs to be placed somewhere, I just don’t always know where.
If we place the net too close to the tightrope of life and leadership for those we protect, very little is learned in failure. An overly safe fall is absent that sinking feeling in the pit of one’s stomach. If it’s too close to the ground, the net may give enough to hit rock bottom. Failure in that instance could be fatal.
No parent wants to see their kids fail. No leader wants to see those they are entrusted to lead fail. Failure is a necessary part of one’s growth. Without failure, there is no forward. We just have to figure out where to place the net.
Fight Invisible Battles
Being a parent is hard. From the day my kids were born, I have fought battles on their behalf. Not physical ones, but Invisible Battles. The most intense internal battle is that of provision. Being their protector requires provision. The problem is that provision can come into direct conflict with presence. Without presence, it’s hard to protect.
It is super easy for people to tell us that we must achieve, “work-life balance.” I don’t think that is possible. It’s unrealistic. What we should wrestle with is…work-life imbalance.
In order to protect through provision, there are times that scale may tip towards work. It happens, it’s reality. Just make sure the scale doesn’t get Stuck in that direction. It’s the ability to recognize when things are out of balance that matters.
This is just one of the invisible battles we fight as parental protectors. The stressors of bills, deadlines, schedules, money, the world’s expectations, and all that comes with adulting. As we are called to do, we march forward without them ever knowing the true struggles.
It’s what leaders do as well. The further we go in leadership, the less people will know what we do to project them. Budget advocacy, deployment of resources, and coming to their defense with others. The work behind the scenes that is seldom noticed, often underappreciated. It does not absolve our responsibility to continue to protect them, to march forward.
Conclusion
Maybe you didn’t have the best parents. Maybe you didn’t work for the best leaders. Be the chain breaker that those under your protection need. Be their protector despite what you have walked through.
The word protector sounds full proof. Almost like a bullet proof vest for what life and leadership throws at those we love and lead. Well…it’s not.
Protectors fall short of perfect…way short! Believe me. What matters is our effort. The sacrifice we are willing to make to protect those we love and care for. What is important is that each day we lay our head down on the pillow knowing that we laid it all on the table to be…their protector.
