The gap between caring and not caring is small. We are a mere misunderstood expression or misinterpreted word away from the line being crossed. Caring or not caring, that is the question.
The Gap Between Caring and Not
I tend to be an overthinker. It comes in handy when making well thought-out decisions, it can also generate worry of things that may never happen.
Social media is the way we keep track of people from a distance. We see everyone’s celebratory mountain tops, we can also see their deepest valleys.
Whenever someone posts the valleys such as the death of a loved one, a severe diagnosis, or tragic news, it warrants a reaction. I hover over the “like” button and it provides me options above and beyond just liking the post. Those options include love, care, haha, wow, sad, and angry.
In these cases, I am extremely careful. I believe Facebook needs to create a greater gap between the “care” and “haha” reactions. Maybe it’s the overthinker in me, but I am scared to death that in these instances I am going to press the “haha” reaction. That would look oddly uncaring when the person reviews the reactions to have a sole “haha” to a sad post!
I don’t want to be that guy! I highly doubt you do either! In life and leadership, there is a similar small gap, between caring and not caring. Here are some thoughts on how to increase the care gap:
Be Authentic and Genuine
Nothing can be as disingenuous as pretending to care and not actually caring. It may send temporary messages of caring, but it isn’t sustainable.
I have heard that there are scientific studies that say one human can feel another human’s heart from up to five feet away. You don’t have to be emotionally intelligent to feel someone’s insincerity. It’s kind of like having fat thumbs and pressing the wrong emoji.
The most dynamic leaders I have followed are genuine and authentic. Even in distance, I have never doubted their sincerity. Great leaders are the real deal, all of the time.
Oscar Wilde once said, “Be yourself, everyone else is taken.” When all else fails in leadership, just be authentically and genuinely you.
Be Intentional
Haphazard attempts at closing the care gap are ineffective. Random efforts lack the necessary thoughtfulness to fill someone’s bucket. Poorly planned, shallow attempts to demonstrate care always fall short.
Intentionality is a secret ingredient of being a solid leader. The act of caring is never committed by chance. There is a well thought out plan to create an unmistakable caring experience that closes the gap. It combines a level of effort and planning that leaves zero doubt of its intentionality.
Being intentional clearly demonstrates which side of the care gap a leader is on.
Be Present
Another important message that I heard one time was, “Treat the person in front of you as if they are the most important person in the world.” While I heard the message, it’s one I must be extremely intentional about and often fall well short of. The crisis of the day, wasted worry, and general busyness can detract from being the caring person I so desire to be.
Great leaders are present. They actively place themselves in the presence of others. These leaders have the unique ability to quiet the storms of life and leadership and settle in. They invoke a level of clear concern for another’s well-being.
Being present tells someone you care, without speaking a single word.
Conclusion
Caring is a cornerstone of the culture I desire to create as a leader. I have shared this many times, in several different posts. At the end of each performance year, all of our leaders are evaluated with, “Upward Feedback.” Feedback from the most important Vantage Point…from below.
There are four questions asked. One, what are the first words that come to your mind when you think of your leader? Two, what does your leader do well? Three, what are opportunities for your leader to become better? Fourth, does your leader love and care for you personally and professionally?
I have found in my twenty-five years of leadership, the fourth and final one is the most revealing of their leader’s performance. If the answer is yes, the leader is positioned well from a performance standpoint. A simple “yes” tells me volumes of the leader’s efforts.
The gap between caring and not caring is small, perfect the art of widening it. Be authentic, genuine, intentional, and present.
