Perfect imbalance is the objective in life and leadership. Too often, we are told to find “balance” in our journeys. Webster’s Dictionary defines balance as, “A condition in which opposing forces are equal to one another.” Rarely, if ever, are the opposing forces in our worlds perfectly equal.
Perfect Imbalance
Playgrounds used to be way less safe! Way…less safe. I grew up before the days of rubber surfacing and specialized cushioned mulch to mitigate the impact of falls.
One of those unsafe apparatuses was a seesaw! Not familiar with it? Basically, it was a board, hinged in the middle, and a seat on both ends. When one person went up, the other person went down. Never seen one…go to the Google!
The hardest thing to do was to achieve perfect balance. It would literally require both human beings to be built the exact same and possess the same physical dexterity as the other. Impossible.
It made me wonder why we talk so much about achieving balance in life and leadership? That too is impossible. Perfect imbalance…possible.
Here are two areas of our worlds where perfect imbalance is attainable:
Work-Life
On a seesaw, the opposing forces are NEVER equal. One person is always above the midpoint, and the other is always below it.
One of the most overused terms in the workplace is, “Work-life balance.” Remember, Webster’s said, “opposing forces are equal to one another.” Revisit your last week in the office. Did you achieve a perfectly equal balance between work and life? I didn’t think so!
For me, the seesaw of life and leadership teetered back and forth throughout the week as it was designed to do. Monday and Friday, my son Grant had multiple doctor’s appointments to get his knee checked out. On those two days…life won.
However, on Thursday I arrived at the office at 4:30 a.m. to prepare two presentations, one to a local Rotary Club and the other was an all-day project work session with our Mayor and Board of Aldermen. On that day…work won.
When you average everything out…perfect imbalance. I was able to prioritize getting Grant taken care of while also being fully prepared for two important presentations.
I also think it’s easy for people to say that life always wins. That is naïve and likely unrealistic. It should be the intent, but as a provider, Grant doesn’t get the care he needs without a good salary and associated medical benefits provided by the work side of things.
Relationships
A major component of the seesaw operation was trust. We had to trust that when we were up, our partner would push off of the ground to return us back down. NOT leaving us stranded, alone at the top.
Our partner could also abandon the seesaw while we were at the peak. This resulted in an abrupt descent to the ground, with the potential for pain and anguish.
Relationships are everything in life and leadership. They are grounded in trust. Trust that the other person won’t leave you hanging or abandon you, resulting in disappointment.
Another falsehood is that relationships are “equal to one another.” I have heard people for years express their disappointment when their investment in a relationship does not perfectly equal a 50/50 return.
Granted, there are times when good people find ourselves completely out of balance with others in life and leadership. We learn hard, but valuable lessons in these seasons. Lessons that help us improve other relationships and creates boundaries for future ones.
The best relationships teeter back and forth. When one’s portion drops below the midline, the support of the other casts them back up to a safe space. When one is too high on their horse, the other can bring them back down to earth.
Quality relationships require give and take. Where one is weak, the other is strong. When one is down, the other lifts them up. The favor is returned repeatedly, consistently, and relentlessly. Great people master the seesaw of relationships. This leads to perfect imbalance in both life and leadership.
Conclusion
When it comes to the concept of balance, I don’t believe that it is achievable in life and leadership. However, I do believe, that it is a worthy pursuit. One in which we will have a lot of failures with, but plenty of success.
Grant is a wrestler, that is where he banged his knee up. Thankfully, there was no structural damage to his knee. A couple of weeks of rest and he is good to go.
Here is how we constantly pursue balance. Just like Grant does on the mat, we wrestle with it. Minute by minute, hour by hour, and day by day. It’s a tension that requires our constant attention and commitment. One that requires great self-awareness to recognize when we are out of balance.
Pursuit of balance lands us right where we need to be, perfect imbalance. In work, life, and relationships. The sweetest spot is always near the ever-adjusting middle.
