Finding Joy in the Process

Finding joy in the process isn’t always easy.  The grind of progression leaves little time to admire the good.

Finding Joy in the Process

My son Grant is wrapping up his junior year of wrestling at Allatoona High School.  I serve as the Booster Club President and recently obtained my certification to be an Assistant Coach at the high school level.

Two weeks ago, we celebrated our senior class of ten wrestlers with a special night.  I’m quite fond of this class because Grant has spent his entire high school wrestling career with them.

Yesterday, we had our regional tournament.  This is the point of the season where you must place to move forward.  Failure to place ends your season.  For seniors, this means the end of your high school wrestling career.

There was a lot of emotion in the air as three of our seniors walked off the mat for the final time.  As a former wrestler myself, the feeling is all too real.  It’s a tough emotion to work through. 

There has been one thought that has consumed my mind during these senior moments the last couple of weeks, “Grant has one year left.”  Next year, we will celebrate his Senior Night, there will be a final match, and THAT is heavy on my heart in this season.

Joy vs Happiness

Two words that too often get confused for each other…joy and happiness.  Happiness is circumstantial.  Happiness is found when your hand gets raised at the end of a wrestling match.  It’s temporary in nature and doesn’t last.

Joy on the other hand is sustainable.  It survives the peaks of happiness along with the valleys of disappointment.  Joy plays the long game.  It is deeply rooted in how we view the world and our circumstances. 

Happiness is the thermometer outside.  It ebbs and flows with the rising and falling temperature.  However, the thermostat indoors keeps the temperature steady.  It regulates the internal temperature. 

Happiness rises and falls with external factors.  Joy regulates the temperature of our hearts. 

This whole experience in the last few weeks has provoked deep reflection within me.  For the next three hundred and seventy-nine days, how will I find joy in the process?  Here are two raw thoughts:

Be His Biggest Fan

I am dad, I am coach, but I want to be known as his biggest fan.  When he gives me his signature pre match hand slap, he needs to know I am in his corner.  Regardless of whether things are going good, or whether they are going bad, I’ll be rooting for him…relentlessly. 

Today, tomorrow, and forever forward in his journey.  I. Will. Be. His. Biggest. Fan. 

In life and leadership, the people we love and care for need us in their corner.  We should be their biggest fan…always.  Great people cheer for others throughout the process, regardless of circumstances. 

When we support others, we find joy in the process.

Enjoy the Ride with Him    

Since he was five, I have coached him in every sport that he has played.  We have driven tens of thousands of miles and countless hours in the car together.  To and from football games, baseball games, basketball games, and wrestling tournaments.

I’m sure he would say that a few of those rides have not been very joyful!  As a father, coach, or a blurred version of both, I’m sure that I have allowed the circumstances of outcomes to negatively impact the joy in that ride.  I may have fallen short a few times, but have always tried to make the ride home enjoyable for him. 

Whether it’s stopping at a late-night spot to grab something to eat to celebrate his effort (win or loss), to discuss strategy, get a good laugh, or to find simplicity in conversation…the ride is usually joy-filled. 

In life and leadership, the process can detract from enjoying the ride.  Busyness produces distraction.  Outcomes drive our perspectives.  Meanwhile, meaningful time passes us by.  The sand slips through the hour glass.  The people most valuable to us fade in the background. 

If we want to enjoy the ride, be present.  Turn the radio of life down, roll the windows up to avoid outside noise, and make the person in your presence feel like the most important person in the world. 

When we enjoy the ride, we find joy in the process.    

Conclusion

As leaders, coaches, and/or parents, what if we could do these two things to those we lead and love?  Imagine a world if we could be their biggest fans.  Imagine a world where we could just simply slow down and enjoy the ride with them?

This is exactly how I want to spend the rest of this season of life with Grant.  Circumstances won’t make it easy at times, I’m quite certain that I will fail him at times, but my commitment remains unwavering.

As dad, as coach, and everything in between, I desire to find joy in this process.  I’ll be his biggest fan and enjoy the ride.