“Figure it out,” a phrase that can go in so many different directions. It can drift anywhere from a condescending directive to a tremendous empowerment. From a tough lesson learned to a valuable one earned.
Figure it Out
As a father, this was probably a phrase that I overused with my kids as they grew up. I said it with the best of intentions. Intentions do not always determine direction though. These three words fall short of what I desired for them in the process.
I saw a reel the other day on Instagram that said, “The thing about parenting is that we are raising a person that we cannot live without, to be able to live without us.” That is a sobering reality.
My intentions behind the issuance of, “figure it out” always had the purest of intentions. For my kids, I have always felt that there is unlimited growth potential hidden in the journey behind figuring things out.
It makes me wonder what words I could add to this phrase that could better declare my intentions? To make it more impactful. Here are a few shots at it:
I Want You To…Figure It Out
This addition tells the person in our world that we desire them to learn from the experience. As we speak these words, we have likely already figured it out on our end. Through our experiences in life and leadership, we know what the end result looks like.
Wants are desires. It is our desire in this context for them to experience the same benefit we did by figuring it out. Someone at some point desired this for us. It’s time to state our same desire for others. We want them to…figure it out.
I Know You Can…Figure It Out
Adding this, adds belief in our people to do so. Belief is a powerful motivator to the people we lead and love. It screams confidence that they CAN.
We all need encouragement. Leadership legend John Maxwell says, “Encouragement is oxygen for the soul.” People cannot live without oxygen, those we are entrusted to care for cannot survive without encouragement.
Breathe life into them, tell them, “I know you can…figure it out.”
I Need You To…Figure It Out
A little different angle, but it’s a cry out for help…from us to them. As leaders of people, the demands for our time and energy can produce exhaustion. Even the greatest of leaders experience limitations on their capacity to solve problems and get things done.
The pressure to carry the weight of problems, projects, and productivity is a heavy burden to bear. Sometimes, we just need those around us to figure it out, for us. “I need you to,” sends a message of vulnerability. In that statement we confess our limitations and convey our dependence on others.
Tell them that we need them to…figure it out, because we do.
Conclusion
There is another option, “Let us figure it out.”
Grant turned sixteen this past week. For more than four months I searched for the perfect vehicle for him, that fit within our limited budget. They were few and far between. It was a process.
I ended up finding, “The One” that was safe, looked good, ran well, and would fulfill his current needs in a vehicle. But, it needed some work. Since we made the purchase a few weeks ago, I have been ordering replacement parts to fix some of those deficiencies. The deliveries just kept coming!
I had every ambition to fix everything before we gave it to him. Sometimes my Ambition Exceeds My Abilities. I will be the first to tell you, auto mechanics is not my strength. But, over the years when needed, I have been able to figure it out.
As time closed in on giving him the truck, there was a blessing in disguise in my inability to get all the work done. WE would figure it out. He and I.
It would be an opportunity for us to learn together. We started figuring it out this weekend and I look forward to continuing the process until we get the truck where he desires it to be.
The worst part about figuring things out…it takes time. The best part about figuring things out…it takes time. I will love every minute of US figuring it out. Time is the most valuable resource we can give to another human being. It creates opportunities for Unexpected Moments that produce Unexpected Memories.
Life and leadership are tough when we go at it alone. If I’ve never told you before, thanks for following Leadership and Main. Figuring out life and leadership was never meant to be done alone.
