Fighting Invisible Battles

There are two types of leaders in this world, those fighting invisible battles and those who are delusional.  In other words, it’s probably one of the most common things leaders face internally that is not expressed outwardly. 

Those battles that fuel our racing minds, trigger our angst, unsettle our souls, and contain all the things that keep us awake at night.    

Too often, we falsely believe that the challenges we face in life and leadership are exclusive to us, when they are actually the most universal to everyone else.  We just work hard at keeping them invisible.

Invisible

Webster’s Dictionary defines invisible as, “Incapable by nature of being seen, not perceptible by vision, inaccessible to view, hidden.” 

Ever taken the time to watch a duck in the water?  The beautiful creature just smoothly sails across the water’s surface.  Here is what is invisible to the human eye…they are frantically kicking below the surface. 

The same is applicable to leadership.  Most of the people in our world look at us as having it all together.  Calm, cool, and collected on the surface…but frantically fighting underneath the surface to survive.  Not seen.  Not perceptible.  Inaccessible to view.  Hidden.   

Here are two types of invisible battles that leaders fight: 

Our Own

I often say that those who have led at any point since 2020 should have their leadership years counted in dog years!  Think about it…external forces like supply chain issues, inflationary cost increases, and a labor market that flipped from advantage employer to advantage employee.  Tack on a world-wide pandemic, a season of social unrest, and politics to add to the chaos.

My grandfather taught me a lot about life and leadership.  Paw Paw told me, “James, one of the hardest things you will ever do is manage people.”  After twenty-five years in the business of leadership, I would say he was right.

Leadership is not for the faint of heart.  Leaders are tired, exhausted, and have battle fatigue. 

Amid this, we are expected by others to be the duck.  Those who depend on us look to us to be the stabilizing force in turbulent times.

Speaking of ducks, there is also the old indium, “It’s like water off a duck’s back.”  Water repels right off of their feathers, it doesn’t stick.  It’s slick. 

When we fight invisible battles, things stick.  They build up, they compound, and they become heavy.  Silent storms can bring us to our knees.

Whether it’s through being vulnerable with our teams, seeking professional help, or confiding in a trusted friend, light needs to be shined on our battles.  It doesn’t mean we have to announce every little battle we face to the world, but battles left invisible can prove too much to bear.  

For Others

Great leaders fight invisible battles for others.  One of the most discouraging things about leadership is feeling unappreciated.  The further we go in leadership, the lonelier it can get.   

Here is a reality for leaders.  Very few people will see the hours we work, the sacrifices we make, or the amount of times we have worked to complete depletion.  In addition, humans inherently have short memories.  What we did for them years ago, may not matter today.     

As we grow in leadership, those we lead have limited Vantage Points of our overall worlds.  To no fault of their own, it can be easy to focus on their world and not the bigger picture.

We have twelve different departments in the city.  One of those twelve may have a fire burning, but they may not realize that the other eleven do too.  That makes twelve fires for me!   

This probably goes both ways though.  We are probably ungrateful for the invisible battles that our leaders fight/fought for us.  The fights they fought for us in rooms we weren’t present in.  Battles we will never know took place.

Gratitude is never silent.  A valuable lesson to each of us.  We can be internally grateful for others, but if it is not outwardly expressed, it simply doesn’t exist. 

While we are less likely to hear that expressed gratitude upward, it doesn’t relieve us of our tremendous responsibility to continue to fight those invisible battles for others.  It’s one of the greatest callings of leadership.  It’s owed for the invisible battles fought for us.   

Conclusion

I have watched people I love and care for walk through extremely tough invisible battles in life.  Depression, anxiety, chronic pain, alcoholism, and the aftermath of the loss of a loved one.  Deep, dark, and desperate places that are invisible to worlds around them. 

There are many studies that suggest empathy is the greatest attribute of a leader.  A word that is commonly confused with sympathy.  I believe sympathy is when you have actually walked in someone’s circumstantial shoes.  However, empathy is getting as close to wearing those shoes without ever walking in them yourself.  It allows us to issue grace and choose to assume there is a battle being fought behind the scenes.   

Empathic leaders bring things to light.  They ask good, simple questions.  How are you?  What can I do to help you?  Are you okay?  Good questions open the door to walk into their worlds when everyone else is shuttered out.    

While that helps others, it doesn’t do much to win our invisible battles that are raging.  The reinforcements are on the way when we declare this simple statement, “I am not okay.”  It requires great courage to confess that. 

From there, the battle becomes visible.  When it becomes visible, we have an army of people there to fight it with us.

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