Fervent Love

Fervent love is a quality that is possessed by the highest-level leaders.  A unique quality that serves as a great differentiator between an ordinary leader and an extraordinary one. 

The ultimate calling of a leader is to care for those who are entrusted under one’s leadership.  To nurture others, to grow others, and to better their worlds in the process.

Fervent Love

A couple of years ago my mother’s aunt, Titi Carmen, passed away.  We were invited over to her house to look through any family relics that we may be interested in having.  In these situations, I gravitate towards the bookshelves.

You can learn a lot about a person through the books they read.  It’s a window into their interests and passions.  You can see what is important to them in their highlights, underlines, and notes they write in the margins.

In my search that day, I came across my great grandpa’s bible.  He had immigrated from Puerto Rico in the 1940’s, so it was written in Spanish.  There was only one sentence highlighted it the entire book, it included the word “ferviente.”  Translated into English, it means “fervent.” 

I had never heard this word before, so I went to the dictionary.  Webster’s defines fervent as, “Exhibiting or marked by great intensity of feeling.”  What a great adjective to precede the word love!    

My Mom

Mother’s Day celebrates THE person that exemplifies fervent love.  For me, it’s my mom, Kathy Albright.  She was the Glue that held our family together. 

Many would consider my mom a saint.  She was responsible for three children…me, my brother, and…my dad.  Mom was always outnumbered.  In spite of that, she always loved us fervently.

Here are three lessons I learned from my mom’s fervent love:

Biggest Fan

Mom was and always will be my biggest fan.  She has always been at every sporting event, every school moment, every career achievement, and every milestone of life. 

If it is to be celebrated, she is there.  With a special skill set to turn any celebration into a special one.  You can bet that there will be excessive decorations galore and all the little details to make the person feel special.   

Leaders who lead out of fervent love are everyone’s biggest fan.  Like a mother, it’s not about them and their achievements, it’s about everyone else’s.  Our people need fans, be their biggest.

Unconditional

My mom has always loved us unconditionally.  Through good choices and bad.  When we deserved it and most of all when we didn’t.  There were no exceptions to it. 

One of the greatest barriers to fervent love is the application of conditions.  As humans, we can create conditions when we end a loving and caring statement with, “, but.”  Great job, BUT.  You are a great team member, BUT.  One simple piece of punctuation and a three-letter word removes the “un” in front of conditional.

Great leaders fervently love unconditionally.  No strings attached and zero exceptions.  It’s pure, genuine, and authentic.  Unconditional love is all in.      

Fight

A momma bear is nature’s most fierce creature! 

My father is a large man in physical stature.  He had physical superpowers that could defend my brother and I if needed. 

My mother barely exceeds five feet.  She is not an imposing physical specimen by any stretch of the imagination.  Her fight has always come through tenacity, compassion, acceptance, persistence, and resilience.  All of these things are grounded in protection of us, rooted in fervent love.  Even when we didn’t see her fighting.

Leaders fight for others.  Often, that fight takes place in rooms the people we lead aren’t in.  Invisible Battles,the ones that no one else sees. 

Defending them in complaints from critics, the allocation of resources in scarce budget times, and the daily burdens we carry on their behalf.  People are worthy of fighting for, even when nobody is watching.

Conclusion

I can sometimes be hesitant to write on subjects like this on Father’s Day or Mother’s Day.  Why?  Because while I had incredible parents, I have been around long enough to know this isn’t the case for everyone. 

I spent the early part of my professional career in Parks and Recreation.  I would spend a lot of time leading coach clinics.  At the beginning of every clinic, I would start with two tasks.  One, to write down the name of their favorite coach and two reasons why they liked them the best.  Two, to write down the name of their least favorite coach and two reasons why they liked them the least. 

This simple exercise revealed two things, how we want to be remembered by our players and how we do not want to be remembered by our players.  In addition, “They loved and cared for me” was one of the most consistent answers of what they remembered best about their favorites.   

It also revealed that we are a product of those who loved us well and those who didn’t.  It’s possible to carry the good forward while using the bad as a steppingstone to be better coaches, fathers, mothers, and leaders. 

Whether it’s coaching, motherhood, fatherhood, or leadership.  The same rules apply.  Fervent love leads well.  Do it fervently.